12 Styles & Process of Listening

1.       Module 12: Styles & Process of Listening

2.       Learning Outcomes

3.       Introduction

4.       Styles of Listening

5.       Reasons for Poor Listening

6.       Developing Good Listening Style

7.       Process of Listening

8.       Summary

1.  Module 12: Styles & Process of Listening

2.  Learning Outcomes:

By the end of this module, students will be able to

•       Know the styles of listening, and to develop the good listening style.

•       Learn the stages of listening process and our minds activity in each stage.

3.  Introduction

Listening is a skill that needs to be developed. Everyone cannot be a good listener, it requires a positive attitude. The concept behind an idea or information will not be clear with negative thoughts in mind. Positivity with proper concentration is important; many times the mind gets exhausted and stops paying attention which leads to incomplete listening.

Poor or incomplete listening may lead to serious communication problems. It may defeat the purpose of oral communication. As too many people at the same time are interested in talking and mostly talking about self without having patience to listen to others contributes in difficulty to understand and retain the message.

Good listening creates a positive environment and motivates the communicator. It is very important to improve the ability of listening. We need to train ourselves to listen attentively by paying consideration to spoken words and by appreciating the listening process.

4. Listening Styles

The possible reason in conversation which may lead to misunderstanding is the difference in listening styles. The style of listening may be different for different people due to different reasons. Some may like the content; others may like the speaker, some will focus on the actions and the time of conversation also plays the important role. Thus, because of unlike preferences of diverse people every time the good listening cannot take place and half of the listening is converted in poor listening.

4.1 Poor listening Styles:

The biggest communication problem is-

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply”

–      Stephen R. Covey

Most of the people spend more time listening to others in comparison to any other activity in communication process, yet a large proportion of people never learn to listen well. Many of them think that they are good listeners – but research has confirmed the opposite! Poor listening takes place due to many distractions. One reason is that people develop poor listening habits that continue with them throughout life. The following list contains most widespread poor listening styles:

4.1.1 Rehearsing thoughts:

Sometimes people listen until they want to say something; as soon as the idea is generated in their mind they quit listening and start rehearsing their thought. These people cannot do well in interpersonal relations or they can’t be good professionals because instead of listening they are always waiting to get an opportunity to speak out.

4.1.2 Listening only for facts:

Here the listening takes place just to know the facts and figures, or the way facts are presented, and no focus is given to the actual meaning, to the basic idea which the speaker is trying to convey. This concern for facts prevents listener to understand the importance of message, and therefore leads to poor listening.

4.1.3 Interrupting while Listening:

Listening also requires the art of being patient, because there are times when people become so impatient that they do not wait to resolute the complete meaning and interrupts the speaker in between as they are more concerned with their own feelings or want to show-off knowledge by explaining their thoughts.

4.1.4 Listening to influence:

To maintain the goodwill in the mind of the speaker, people try to influence the speaker by agreeing what is being said by them. It is not so that they really have the same opinion and share the same thoughts or feeling but just to please the speaker, they tend to agree in whatever is being said. In this style the real listening does not take place, as the attention is not paid to the content.

4.1.5 Fake Listening:

It is just to pretend that you are listening but actually you are not. People using fake listening styles do not listen to the speaker, their mind wander here and there. Their minds are engrossed in something else, but they pretend to listen by keeping smile on their face, or by nodding head again and again.

Source:   Online   library   (2013)   “How    to    be    a    good    listener”,   available    online   at

http://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/102013446

4.1.6 Judgemental Listening:

In this listening style the listener becomes so engrossed in judging the thought of the speaker that they even not listen to the full message. They do not try to listen or understand the idea behind but start judging which may lead to the interruption through comment or disagreement.

Several people in this world are poor listeners, not only in professional but even in everyday personal life. They pretend to listen but at the same time they think about something else. This occurs even more repeatedly when people are in disagreement. Rather than cautiously listening to what the speaker has said, they are lost in thinking about their reply while the other person is talking.

Despite this, they tend to infer things to correspond with their preconceived views. Due to this reason, they imagine that they know and understand what other person is trying to say. Since people in disagreement with the views of the speaker tend to build up aggressive and suspicious images of the other, vague communication is constructed in the worst possible way; even clear messages are inclined to be mistreated or overlooked. Such poor listening makes good communication almost unworkable. No matter how carefully the message is communicated if the listener is not willing to receive that information in the same way, the communication will not succeed.

4.2 Good Listening Styles

“A good listener is not only popular everywhere,

but after a while, he gets to know something”

– Wilson Mizner playwright and entrepreneur

Source: Seth (2013) “Critical Thinking is Critical Listening”, available online at http://www.scholarhabit.com/324/critical-thinking-is-critical-listening/

Good employee/employer relations start with good two way communication. Ronald Hanson, agribusiness program director of university of Nebraska – Lincoln discusses importance of good listening skills at workplace. He said:

“You should always give the person a chance to explain”, do not pass the judgement without understanding others point of view.

Do not add view points or change what the other person has said. The key is about listening by being open to what the speaker is saying through words or actions.

Do not permit your attention to drift away while the other person is still talking. Do not do any paper work and not even start working at your computer. Instead focus on the sender.

Never interrupt or change the subject. Hanson said that “this is what I call cutting them off at the pass”.

By no means let your mind to be closed. He says, “If your attitude is set beforehand, you may as well go behind the barn and talk to a tree”.

Do not finish for the other person, even if he/she takes extra time to develop a thought or explain an issue, allow them to fully express themselves.

Never to rehearse the response in mind. He says, “When you rehearse you are not listening to other person, they may have said something important and you missed listening”.

Try to complete the talk at the same time. Avoid postponing.

Hanson suggests, not to rush. He said, never use the words like “let’s finish it as I am in hurry”

Being a good listener can help in viewing the world through the eyes of others. It enriches understanding and develops the capacity for empathy. Good listening is an art that can be cultivated.

Practising good listening skills helps interpersonal relations to be stronger; the good listening styles are as follows:

4.2.1 Listening with interest:

Madhukar, R.K. (2005) said, that “Listening calls for participation and involvement. It is often a dialogue rather than a monologue.” By listening carefully good listeners put the speaker at ease. It shows others that you are interested in what they have to say, this encourages the speaker to share more and to get across the message. If in organizations the managers listen their employees with interest, it will leads to high productivity.

4.2.2 Encouraging people to contribute their ideas:

When people feel that what they say will be valued and not criticised, they are more likely to speak up. People with great ideas often sit silently in meetings if the environment doesn’t seem supportive to them. Good listening style helps people to open up and contribute in idea generation.

4.2.3 Respecting Relationships:

Good listening makes people feel good and comfortable while talking. This leads to respect, trust, and a cooperative working relationship. A good listener’s even if disagrees with the speaker at some point, they work out constructively by respecting the given opinion and exploring the thoughts for further progress.

Source: Salevouris, A. “Common myths about Listening”, available online at

http://angelasalevouris.efoliomn.com/2

4.2.4 Visionary Listening:

Good listening is an essential part of being a good leader. One cannot be a good leader unless he/she is a good listener. Managers or leaders use this listening style to inspire people by focusing on long term goals. Leader listens to the values held by the individuals within the group and then explains the goals for the organization in a way that wins their support. On the other side employees future needs are also listened & honoured to be accomplished at the workplace.

5. Reasons of Poor Listening

Poor Listening causes personal & professional problems. The reasons behind poor Listening are:

5.1 Unavailability of Training:

Listening is a skill which is frequently used by all, but very less or no training is available for it. Since childhood, we all are trained for improving writing, reading and speaking skills, but proper training for listening skills lack. Even as a professional we attend workshops, seminars and conferences to get an opportunity to improve personal skills of writing & speaking but still the seminars for excelling in listening are not available.

5.2 Thoughts run like electricity:

Individuals think faster than they can speak. Raman & Singh (2006) states that, “Most of us speak at the rate of about 125 words per minute. However we have the mental capacity to understand someone speaking at 400 words per minute”. The disparity between the speed of thought and speech reflects that when we listen we just use some part of our brain while other part is free and so it wanders somewhere else. Thus, it is important to concentrate more on listening act otherwise it will lead to poor listening.

5.3 Less retention power:

Study conducted by Gail Miller at Washington State University have shown that immediately after listening to a ten minutes oral presentation the listener have understood and retained 50% of what was said. This way proper listening do not takes place as half of the message is lost.

Poor listening is responsible for missed business opportunities, stressed relationships and conflicts, annoyed customers, unproductive meetings, poor business decisions and low employee motivation.

On contradictory, organizations with managers and staff that practice good listening skills enjoy a variety of benefits. Customer needs are satisfied and they feel appreciated. Good ideas are implemented on everything from business opportunities to solving quality problems.

“We are given two ears, but only one mouth.

This is because God knew that listening was twice as hard as talking.”

6. Developing Good listening Styles

“Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you in trouble”

–      Frank Tyger

newspaper columnist

Development of good listening skills at various levels is very essential for business success. If communication within the organization has to be purposeful, people need to listen to each other attentively. Good listening skills allow the listener to gather more information more easily and to communicate more effectively.

Mulvany, S. (1998) suggests some techniques required for developing good listening styles:

6.1 Attending:

The first step in good listening is making the decision to listen mentally as well as physically. Good body language, eye contact, and concentrating to the speaker are essential. If you are really busy in some other task ask the speaker to come back after some time when you can give your full attention.

6.2 Appropriate silence and supporting statements:

Do not interrupt the speaker till he finishes. However, it is important to make encouraging, positive sounds and gestures to make the speaker comfortable.

6.3 Asking Questions:

Respond to a speaker with a question which is relevant but don’t shift your attention somewhere else. Also be careful not to judge the speaker in the mid of conversation or not to stop him/her in the mid of the statement. Good and open ended questions come out by good listening.

6.4 Rephrasing:

Rephrasing helps ensure that listener have understood what has been said. Once a speaker has finished respond, as it will increase the retention power, and the points will be remembered for long period of time.

Good listening skills are particularly relevant in dealing with customer complaints and employee grievances. Business related issues will be resolved properly by improving on listening skills.

6.5Listening with an open mind:

Mind is like an umbrella – it works only when it is open. Listeners have to forget their biases and prejudices and grasp new ideas even though they may conflict with theirs. The new ideas may change us a bit. Accept the change for it may be for the better.

6.6 Reading between the lines:

Good listening means reading between the lines i.e., sensing the implications of the message. Good listeners analyze speakers, choice of words and phrases; observe their postures, facial expressions, tone and pitch of voice, manners, general appearances etc

6.7 Empathising:

As a manager, if employees come to you with a problem, they may be looking only for an understanding rather than finding a solution. Here the empathetic listening is required to realize the speaker’s thoughts & emotions. A good listener will help by being patient and valuing the words of speaker.

Thus, persons at their personal and professional life need to increase their ability to communicate well as good listening is very much required in businesses. As poor listening can not only cost the person his career, but a severe impact on business. Losing customer is losing business.

Good Listening, therefore, is very important to both internal and external customers. Service industry such as banking and financial services involves person to person interactions. These organizations are making relentless efforts to know customer requirements and respond by actively and sincerely listening to them.

Organizations which make conscious effort in this regard are described as ‘listening organizations.’

7. Listening Process

Listening is a difficult process. It does not take much effort to lose track of what the sender is trying to communicate. Good listening is required to properly complete the listening process, if poor listening takes place it reduces the retention capacity and sender do not receive proper response.

The body language at the time of listening should also be conducive to the communication process. It is important for the listener to listen accurately and respond, as listening is often a dialogue rather than a monologue.

“Listening is a process of receiving, constructing meaning from,

and responding to spoken and/ or non-verbal messages”

–      International Listening Association

The steps in the listening process are as follows:

7.1 Receiving/Sensing:

The listening process begins with receiving the message, for this purpose thoughtfulness & focus on words and actions is required. As soon as the message is received by the listener it goes to our ‘sensory world’ i.e. to our senses. Through sound waves it enters our ears and then to the brain. However, it depends on our mind whether to grasp sound or not. If there are various sounds in the environment at the same time, our brain chooses to respond only to few sounds.

7.2 Decoding:

The process of decoding begins as soon as our mind captures the message. Decoding takes place as a conscious exercise. If the sender has been careful, decoding will be an easy task for the receiver. The message received is considered useful or useless. Filtering begins here; receiver retains to that part of message which makes sense to him and discard the rest.

7.3 Interpreting/ Comprehending:

At this stage filtered message is assigned a meaning. Unless the person is very specific while coding the message the meaning will differ, it will not be similar from person to person. According to one’s own perceptions people comprehend or understand the message. This activity may also be described as absorbing or interpreting, as the listener has not only used body, but also intellect in grasping the meaning of the message.

7.4 Remembering:

This is another important step of listening process to remember what has been said. Some part of the conversation is retained and some forgotten. Very less percent is stored for a longer time. This is a very critical step, as messages received are meant a lot, not just for instantaneous thoughtfulness and action but also for future use. Remembering is a stage where the interpreted message is stored in memory for prospect recall.

7.5 Evaluating:

Listener here evaluates or reflects the message which was conveyed by the speaker. At this stage many questions comes in the mind of the listener, and he decides to critically analyze the message sent by the speaker.

7.6 Responding:

Response of the listener may take place at the end or even in the mid of communication. Response occur earlier if the listener ask questions to clarify the doubts and to empathize with the speaker or if it is intended to just provide feedback to the sender, response occur towards the end.

This is the stage where receivers will probably try to consider the statement with their own expectations. If there is harmony between the two, the response will be well prepared and helpful for everyone’s growth.

It is necessary that the process of listening does not break down, because if this happens it will not be effective. The speakers need not to ignore the listening process, as the effective delivery of the speaker affects the receivers listening capabilities. In this process there is the constant interaction between listener and speaker through the feedback provided in verbal and non verbal way.

8. Summary

Listening process have two important components of decoding the message and responding to it. Correctly listening to the message and giving the right feedback is an essential part of communication which completes the process.

Listening is the insight of what is being communicated. Because of the different perceptions of individuals, the understanding of the message also differs.

Good listening builds the strong bonds whereas poor listening leads to misunderstanding. The difference between poor and good listening is given below: