38 Interpersonal Communication

Ipshita Bansal

Learning Outcome

After completing this module the students will be able to:

•       Understand the concepts of Interpersonal Communication.

•       Understand the importance of effective Interpersonal Communication.

•       Learn to develop the skills of effective Interpersonal Communication.

    2.   Introduction

It is the process of communication which takes place face to face .In this process the feelings, emotions and thoughts are being shared through verbal and non-verbal messages. It not only involves the message but how that message is being said through voice tone, gestures, facial expressions. Interpersonal communication is all pervasive whether it is social or professional domain. How people communicate in professional domains depends to a large extent how they have been communicating in their social domains. This is because a person’s style and capability of effective communication depends on his or her world view, values , beliefs, attitude to different stimuli. It also depends on personality and related psychological forces likes self esteem, needs, wants, desires, motivations, insecurities etc of the communicator.

In business the nature and quality of interpersonal communication will have an impact on the employee relations, peer relations, sales performance, customer relationships, conflict management, public relations etc.

Hence effective interpersonal communication is extremely important for smooth running of all the functions of the business.

Elements of Interpersonal Communication

i.  The Communicator: The communication process involves two people who exchange their views and thoughts. It is not a one way process but instead it is a two way process where there is exchange of ideas, feelings and emotions as a two way process simultaneously.

ii.The Message: The message not only includes the verbal speech involved in the communication process but also the non-verbal aspects involving facial expression, voice tones and gestures. This provides additional information on the message to be shared.

iii. Noise:Noise plays important role in communication process. It not only includes the physical noise which distorts the message but also the noise in form of inappropriate words, jargons, disinterest, language used, and cultural differences etc. These factors act as a barrier to effective interpersonal communication.

iv. Feedback: Feedback helps the sender to get to know how the message being taken by the receiver and did the receiver get the message right or not. Feedback can be given verbally, or through non verbal expressions and it can be given in writing also.

v. Context: Communication process involves social context and situational context. Situational context involves the place where message has been exchanged like in office,outdoor,home or any other place.Social context involves responsibilities, roles and status of the participants.

1. Channel: It involves the means by which the message is transferred.In face to face communication it is the facial expressions and speech which is the channel. In case of telephonic conversation speech is the only channel that is involved in the process.

3.   Categorization of Interpersonal Communication

3.1. Categorization of Interpersonal Communication on the Basis of Number of Participants

Dyadic Communication: This communication process involves two people. For example: Two people talking.

Group Communication: This process involves three or more persons gathered together for solving problems or taking decisions. The smaller the group the more closely it resembles the interpersonal communication. For example: University study group.

Public Communication: It involves large group of people with primarily same style of communicating with minimal feedback. For example: University class lecture.

3.2. Categorization of Interpersonal Communication on the Basis of Functions

Organizational Communication: It is the process that involves communication in large organization. For example: Work related discussions between employers and employees.

Family Communication: Communication between nuclear and extended families. Communication pattern differs based on the participants involved in the process like spouses, parents, children, siblings.

Social Communication: This is the unofficial communication which may take place with in or outside the organization to satisfy the need of social interaction.

4. Process of Interpersonal Communication

Mark Knapp has discussed the process of interpersonal communication.

1) The first step is the initial encounter that provides the first impression about the parties involved in the communication process. It might be possible that the first impression is misleading or not correct.ƒ

2) The second step is experimenting, where the information about the facts and person is gained slowly, starting from general and then moving towards more particular information.

3) The third step involves the intensification process where conclusions are being drawn while communicating.ƒ

4) The next step is integration, where the decisions made are mutual and agreeable to all in the communication process.ƒ

5) Last step is bonding,where the final decision is being sealed with contracts and the decision is made public.

5. Principles of interpersonal Communication:

Donnell King (2000) has given the following principles of interpersonal communication-

1.      Interpersonal communication is inescapable: This is a continuous process and is related with every aspect of life and its stages.

2.      Interpersonal communication is irreversible: Once interpersonal communication has taken place it can in no way be retrieved. In formal settings, the official statement may be formally retracted but its impact on the receiving party cannot be fully erased. There is an Indian saying that an arrow shot from a bow and a word spoken from the mouth can never be taken back.

3.Interpersonal communication is complicated:Experts believe that each communication

involves at least six aspects-

i. What do you think of yourself?

ii.What do you think about the other person?

iii.What do you think the other person thinks about you?

iv.What does the other person think of himself ?

v. What does the other person think about you ?

vi.What does the other person think you think about him ?

The quality and dynamics of the entire interpersonal communication depends on the complicated interaction of the understanding of the above aspects by the two parties.

4.   Interpersonal communication is contextual

4.1. Psychological context is related with psychological makeup of the people, their beliefs, needs, desires, attitude, values personality etc . This is about who people are and what they bring to the interaction.

4.2. Relational context is concerned with the reaction of one person to the other while communicating with each other.

4.3. Situational context deals with location or space component of the communication, that is ‘where’ the communication is taking place. A communication that takes place in a conference room is likely to be very different than the communication that takes place in the corridor.

4.4. Environmental context deals with the physical aspect of the context that is the general comfort level of the communication context. The aspects regarding the comfortable furniture, optimum temperature of the room, background noise etc are included in it.

4.5. Cultural context includes all the learned behaviors being a part of a particular culture. It also includes the cultural norms and rules that one is expected to adhere to while interacting.

6. Functions of Interpersonal Communication

Figure: Functions of Interpersonal Communication

1) Gain information: One of the important functions of interpersonal communication is to gain information necessary to carry out the various functions of the organization.

2) Develop better understanding: Interpersonal communication helps in better understanding of the message to be delivered. Since it is done face to face it helps in getting better idea of what the person actually wants to say and deliver.

3) Satisfy interpersonal needs: Interpersonal communication satisfies the interpersonal needs of affiliation and power both in social as well as in professional domains.

4) Establish identity: Through interpersonal communication relationships are developed and maintained. Such relationships help inestablishing identity of individuals.

5) Achieve Goals: One of the most important functions of interpersonal communication is achievement of goals. From the organizational perspective, the goals related to personal selling, employee relations, training and development, building goodwill etc are possible to be achieved only through effective interpersonal communication. From individual perspective the goals related to day to day functioning are also largely dependent on effective interpersonal communication.

i. Differing World Views: World view is the over all perspective from which an individual or group sees and interprets the world or what an individual or group believes to be true. World view of individuals largely effect the interpersonal communication. If the world view of mutual communicators is similar the communication is likely to be smooth and fruitful. If one believes that to progress in an organization, one has to engage in fierce competition with one’s peers then he or she will work for individual gains more than the group gains and in the process may not be able to maintain good interpersonal communication in the organization.

ii.Stereotypes and Prejudices: Walter Lippmann in his 1920 book ‘Public Opinion’ used the term stereotypes to describe the way people categorize – stamp – human beings with a set of characteristics. Stereotyping is very natural to the human mind, which helps in simplifying the complicated truth and enables our body and mind to create automated responses to similar cues. Cultural stereotypes are very often result of or lead to negative opinions about each other. Stereotypes and prejudices are major reasons of communication failures, and more than that, of wrong actions and ugly emotions.

iii. Faulty Perceptions: A person interacts, whether as a speaker or a listener, on the basis of perception framed in his or her mind about the other person which may or may not be true. The biggest barrier to communication is faulty perception and making communication based on it. This distorts the communication process.

iv. Gender differences: Due to different socialization and societal expectations, men and women tend to communicate in patterns which may lead to creating a barrier to effective interpersonal communication between them. Allan and Barbara Pease, in their book “Why men don’t listen and women can’t read maps”, describe the different ways the men and women communicate, in an interesting way. They state that these striking differences emanate from the fact that for ages men and women made specific contributions for their survival. So men were hunters focused on bringing the food and women were raising the children and running the family that resulted in the specialization of their minds for these different functions. More insight about the gender differences in communication is available in module 39 of the same paper.

1. Diverting: One of the most frequent ways of switching a conversation from the other’s person concern to the topic of one’s own concern or interest is diverting. It happens when people do not possess the awareness and skills to listen patiently and effectively. Sometimes diversion in the conversation takes place when people want to avoid negative emotions that can be stimulated by that conversation. Not acknowledging the issue can never lead to effective interpersonal communication.

1. Sender’s Behavior: Sender may not able to choose the right word to say precisely what he means. Also the sender may not be fully aware of the intellectual capabilities of receiver and may use the words or technical jargons which the receiver cannot understand.

• Receiver’s Behavior: Receivers tend to hear through their own filters: There are attention filters and emotional filters which distorts communication process. Attention filters increases the amount of sound and emotional filters blocks the understanding of a person. Receivers are also easily distracted Reason for poor attention or listening is that people think faster than they talk. While we listen we have a lot of spare time for thinking.

8. Interpersonal Conflict and Communication

        Interpersonal conflict arises when people involved in the communication process do not share the same compatible goals. It can be expressed verbally as well as non-verbally. People should practice the art of managing conflict tactfully. In conflict resolution, personal and social skills are utilized through interpersonal communication to resolve conflicts. Interpersonal communication is a key component of conflict management in organizations to reduce the hostilities and make the environment congenial to carry on the work and achieve goals.

There are five strategies to manage interpersonal conflict. It is depicted in the figure below.

Source:  M. Afzalur Rahim, “A Measure of Styles of Handling Interpersonal Conflict,” Academy

of Management Journal 26, no. 2 (1983): 368–76.

1)  Competing: This strategy indicates high concern for oneself and low concern for others. When people are competing, their communication style is such that they strive to win at the cost of other person. This style of conflict management involves the use of power, either coercive or non-coercive. This style refers to the negative competition between the people. This style of interpersonal communication and conflict management can sustain only for a short time.

2)  Avoiding: This style of managing conflict refers to low concern for self and low concern for others also. This means there is no communication about conflict in this style of managing interpersonal conflict. In this style conflict is not discussed directly but it is shown through gestures and other non-verbal activities. Here the emotions are expressed passively. This is akin to not acknowledging the problem fully so management of the conflict is poor.

3)Accommodating: In this style there is low concern for oneself and more concern for others’ feelings and emotions.This style involves passive and submissive style of interpersonal communication leading to giving less importance to one-self. Adopting such communicative style over a long period of time is likely to lead to frustration and anger in the person and cannot be considered an effective way of conflict management.

4)Compromising: This style involves moderate concern for oneself and for others also. It is not a win-win situation but it is a bit win-lose situation. This style helps in resolving conflict temporarily but the thoughts of what people gave up to compromise leads to future conflict.

5)Collaborating: This style emphasis on high degree of concern for oneself as well as for the others. Here assertive interpersonal communication style is used.It is a win-win situation for both the parties involved in conversation because they have reached a solution mutually without compromising.

9.   Guidelines for Effective Interpersonal Communication

Linda Wilcox (2002) discussed various guidelines for communicating effectively:

i.   Listen Effectively: For communicating effectively a person should listen carefully. Person should not be in a hurry to jump on the conclusion and pass the judgment. Proper and enough time should be given to understand the view point of all involved in the communication process.Emphasizes should be on gathering facts and making judgments based on those facts.

ii.   Gain Knowledge: Take help from people who possess knowledge about the situation. Gain information about the policies and procedures that might help in communicating effectively.

iii. Maintain calmness: One should be respectful to others and should not insult others in public. One should learn to manage one’s anger. When people are nervous they converse quickly without exactly knowing about what are they speaking. When person is not relaxed it is evident in the body language of the person also. Person should stay calm and composed to communicate effectively.

iv.Communicate in socially acceptable manner: For informal interaction it refers to the speaker’s way of interaction with others. In more formal cases the communication will depend on the message receiver. How the receiver perceive the speaker in terms of language, appearance, presentation etc.

v.Communicate in thoughtful and careful manner: Communication process should be thoughtfully and carefully handled. Person should first wait and wisely analyze the whole situation and then proceed further in the communication process. People should act professionally while communicating the viewpoint as their reaction changes the direction of the communication process.

vi. Practice basic Acknowledgement: Person while communicating should nod the head, maintain eye contact and keep showing gestures which show that one is interested in the interaction.

vii.Develop the habit of asking questions: Three categories of questions can be asked –

Closed ended questions: These questions will result in answering into yes or no .These types of questions do not provide much information as the questions do not answer the underlying motive of the person. For example are you all right?

Direct questions: These questions are for specific situation to know the knowledge of people about the situation. For example can you tell me what happened?

Open ended questions: It helps in gaining more extensive information about the situation. For example explain the problem in detail?

viii.  Listening Reflectively: To reaffirm that what the person heard is the same what the other person said there is a need to repeat key words or express the whole idea in own words. This help in getting the right message.

ix.Maintain Silence: Practicing pause after the sentence helps in absorbing the information by the listeners.

x.Empathise: Empathising with the people one is communicating with is very important to understand their viewpoint. This helps to build mutual trust leading to fruitful interpersonal communication.

1. Learn to be Assertive: Person should aim to be neither passive nor aggressive. Being assertive is about expressing the feelings and beliefs in a way that others can understand and respect. Assertiveness is fundamental to successful negotiation. To gain detailed insights on how to communicate assertively, module 37 may be referred.

• Reflect and Improve: A person should learn from the previous success and failures in communication process and try to apply that learning in subsequent interpersonal interactions.

These are the activities which help in developing the communication effectively.

10. A model to develop effective interpersonal communication – Johari Window

   Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham were the original creators of the model called Johari’s window. This model is very useful in describing human interaction and to understand communication and interaction with people better. Johari Window may help people as an individuals, as a team manager,s and also as organizational heads.

    Cell 1 – “Arena” or open area of communication, consists of the information known simultaneously by oneself and the others others.

Cell 2, – “Blind spot,” is information known by others but not by oneself.     One of the purposes of  sensitivity training is to reduce the size of the “blind spot” through providing increased honest feedback from others about one’s personal style. The old phrase, “Even your best friend will not tell you,” is indicative of the existence of such a class of information.

Cell 3, – “Hidden,” is a class of information known to ourselves but not to others. It is the protective front that all people find necessary to some degree in order to defend the self.

Cell 4, – “Unknown” is that information which exists but is unknown to all, Hall suggests that this is indicative of a hidden potential, the unconscious, or the data base of creativity.

Communication will be enhanced if Cell I, the “arena,’ is increased in size and the other cells Hidden, Blind spot and Unknown are reduced in size.

The Arena includes not only facts but also the information about individual, such as emotions, behaviour, expectations, and needs.

While working in organizations it is important to first know the environment and culture of the company and then slowly unfold yourself (nature, talents, characteristics) in organization, resulting in the widening of the arena.

While working with new people do not completely open the ‘hidden space’ but take time to learn about colleagues, if heading a team, one should know how much of confidential information to put across to team members. Hidden area of a person is reduced by self disclosure. At the same time, it is important to try and get to know people at workplace, and this can happen only when you build a relationship of trust. Also revelations about one self should be done only when the other person is trust worthy and there is a possibility of reciprocity where the other person might also disclose about his self.

The blind space represents things about a person that he/she do not know but others do. The blind space can be reduced by asking for feedback from colleagues and seniors. Also on the other hand it is the duty of senior people as well as peers to provide feedback to an individual about his strengths, weaknesses, potential and good or bad habits. For example, a person may be given the feedback that he tends to dominate the meetings and don’t allow others to speak which is not good for team’s performance and healthy interpersonal relationships. On getting to know this the person’s Arena will expand and will try to modify his behaviour in the next meeting by giving a chance to others to speak.

Source: Mukerjee, H. (2013) Business Communication, Oxford University Press

The dark space quadrant represents aspects that no one knows. These are the areas of self-discovery that reveal them- selves only when one ventures in to new areas and accept new challenges. So managers should build an environment in the organisation where people discover new thing about themselves.

The model is applicable in various ways; the interesting part of the model is that it can be applied in multiple situations, such as negotiation, team dynamics, and interpersonal communication.

11. Summary:

Interpersonal communication is a process where exchange of ideas, information is done between two or more people. To understand interpersonal communication we learned about the categorization, process, principles and functions of interpersonal communication. To understand how to develop effective interpersonal communication skills barriers have to be understood and overcome. Interpersonal communication can be improved by following certain guidelines which were discussed in the module.

Learn More

Few important sources to learn more about Interpersonal Communication:

1.      Brown, R., & Gaertner, S. (eds.). 2001). Intergroup processes. Oxford, UK: Blackwell.

2.      Knapp, M.L. (1984). Interpersonal communication and human relationships. Boston: Allyn & Bacon.

3.      Operrario,  D.,  &  Fiske,  S.  (2001).  Stereotypes:  Content,  structures,  processes,  and context. In R. Brown & S. Gaertner (eds). Intergroup processes. Oxford, UK: Blackwell.

4.      Trenhold, S., & Jensen, A. (2000). Interpersonal communication (4th ed.). Belmont CA: Wadsworth.

5.      Tubbs, S. (1992). A systems approach to small group interaction. New York: McGraw-Hill.

6.      http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/interpersonal-communication.html

7.      http://faculty.buffalostate.edu/smithrd/UAE%20Communication/Unit4.pdf

8.      Donnell King (2000) http://www.pstcc.edu/facstaff/dking/interpr.htm

9.      http://www.crnb-rcnb.ca/en/files/what_is_interpersonal_communication_en.pdf

10.  http://smallbusiness.chron.com/effects-interpersonal-communication-organization-18338.html

11.  http://www.skillsyouneed.com/interpersonal-skills.html

12.  http://www.icaiknowledgegateway.org/littledms/folder1/chapter-14-interpersonal-communication-skills.pdf

13.  http://www.dartmouth.edu/~ombuds/resources/communication.html

14.  https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/team-building-communication.htm

15.  http://2012books.lardbucket.org/books/a-primer-on-communication-studies/s06-interpersonal-communication-pr.html

Points to Ponder

i.            Interpersonal communication is a two way process.

ii.             It is a face to face communication.

iii.             It includes both verbal and non-verbal communication.

iv.            In order to make communication effective listening skills should be made effective.

Exercises to Develop Effective Interpersonal Communication Skills

Organizations should include these activities to develop the interpersonal communication effectively:

1.      The Blindfold Game: In this game the blindfolded participant depends on the other partner to move further successfully. It helps in improving listening skills and trust. This can be done in any number of groups .This exercise takes 15 to 25 minutes. There is a requirement to create more and more obstacles to judge the communication. The judge should rate the participants on the basis of coordination between the team members and listening skills of the participants.

2.      Card Pieces: This activity helps in improving negotiation skills and developing empathy among the partners. There is a need for two to three teams for this activity. It takes around 15 minutes to carry out the activity. The team members trade pieces of playing cards to complete the cards. The judgment is based on the negotiation skills, active listening and empathy.

3.      Make a team with: In this activity people have to act and make groups quickly according to the instructions. This activity helps them to take decision on their feet quickly and rightly. It encourages communication between the members.

4.      Just listen: This activity encourages listening ability. In this activity one person speaks about the idea and opinion and the other person just listen without saying anything. It takes 20 -30 minutes to carry this activity. It increases the listening skills of the people. This activity also helps in judging about the body language of the person communicating.

5. Build a Bridge: In this activity team’s work towards making a bridge depending on the material provided for constructing the bridge. In this activity the teams cannot see how others are constructing the bridge. It develops the communication between the members. It takes around 45 to 50 minutes to complete the activity.