39 Gender and Communication
Ipshita Bansal
1. Module : Gender and Communication
2. Learning Outcome
3. Introduction
4. Understanding Gender
5. Gender Differences in Communication
6. Non-Verbal Communication and Gender
7. Consequences of Communicative Gender Differences
8. Strategies to Deal with Gender Differences in Communication
9. Summary
1. Module39 : Gender and Communication
2. Learning Outcomes:
By the end of this module, students will be able to understand
• the basic differences between the communication styles of men and women.
• the consequences of communicative gender differences
• the strategies to deal with the gender differences in communication
3. Introduction
Gender plays a vital role in laying rules of communication. Babies when born are in clean linguistic state; they learn and acquire language through listening and observing their caretakers. Through observation,they pick cues, when to talk, how to talk, when to remain silent etc.
Various studies over the years, suggest that because of certain specific styles of female communication, barriers have been created for women with respect to being selected in employment and promotion interviews, having the ability to be heard in important meetings, negotiating for getting organizational resources and benefits etc.
As men and women adopt specific styles of masculine and feminine communication, it often leads to a variety of misunderstandings between them at work place.
Many books based on such researches have been published such as –
Deborah Tannen’s (1990) You Just Don’t Understand: Men and Women in Conversation and (1994) Talking from 9 to 5,
Marian Woodall’s (1990) How to Talk so Men Will Listen, and John Gray’s (1992) Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars.
3.1 Why is there need to study communication and gender?
Through study of communication and gender an understanding can be developed with respect to how culture and socialization with in a cultural context influences masculinity and feminity in men and women.
It helps in delving deeper into one’s own gender leading to introspection. It aids in increasing awareness about how cultural expectations of gender were and are communicated to people in daily life.
Once we are aware about the differences in communication style of men and women, we can strengthen ourselves as communicators and orators as it helps us to make informed choices.
4. Understanding Gender
Sex, that is being a man or a woman, is biological, gender is sociological. Macoby (2002) highlighted that children at 3 years of age have clear knowledge about their gender.
In society boys and girls are taught to behave in different manner according to socially accepted and stereotyped roles. The society defines values, meanings, expectations as good and bad with respect to men and women. Gender stereotypes are ingrained in our institutions, beliefs and actions that they seems natural.
One of the important practices of society is communication. We are surrounded by communication that carries the social views of gender with it. From magazine to TV commercial to radio, we hear and see a thin women and bulky men. On the one hand a fat woman is considered unappealing and on the other a thin and lanky man is considered unappealing.
It is seen that boys are given greater freedom as compared to girls in families. Every time when we think about the household work it’s a picture of women that come to our mind. Women are always seen taking care of the indoor activities, whereas the men are supposed to take care of the outdoor activities.
There are certain expected behavior from men and women with respect to communication as well. For example:the society expects that girls should not show anger, not laugh loudly and speak softly. But it is alright if boysadopt aggressive speech and show their anger, even violently.
These activities may seem small but they depict our society’s views of gender and have consequences which cannot be ignored.Once a child identifies himself/herself with specific gender they focus on growing in that role.
4.1 Approaches to Gender and Communication
When we investigate deeper into gender and communication, we come across 4 major approaches related to Gender and Communication.
Deficit Approach: – This approach assumed that men’s speech was superior to that of women.
Female voice was considered weak and lacking in substance. This approach claimed that female did not finish their thoughts, as they did not plan what they were to say, whereas men planned their thoughts.
Dominance Approach: – This approach highlighted that men dominated women in conversation and women were passive whereas men were assertive.
Difference Approach: – This approach highlighted that though men and women have same experiences but they belong to different sub-cultures. In addition, it emphasized that men and women uniquely communicate in their own way.
Dynamic Approach: – This approach emphasizes that it is because of certain stereotyped socialization of people right from child hood, men and women behave in particular ways. It is a social construct and so is subject to change over a period of time as the culture changes and evolves.
5. Gender Differences in Communication
Many research studies have been conducted on how men and women differ in their communication styles which is also shaped by the cultures to which they belong to.
In organizations, men and women at equal positions are supposed to have equal status, skills ,knowledge and experience but due to their differing and at times opposing communicative styles they may not be able to work together effectively. These gender differences, by and large, as stated earlier, are formed due to the societal stereotypes of behavior learned during the growing up years of life.
It is important to mention here that all men and women may not communicate as per the general styles of their gender but studies over the years have identified communicative styles that are more common in each of the genders
Hymes (1972) stated that Speech Communities are communities sharing rules for conduct and interpretation of speech. For different genders, i.e. male and female there are different pattern of talk evolved over years.
5.1 Feminine Communication Style
Women in their communications focus on sharing experiences and building rapport & relationships. They try to gain insight and understanding, often by asking a lot of questions. Author Heather R. Huhman in an article in Forbes titled “How to Be a Part of the Male Conversations at Work,” writes “that women focus more on feelings and emotions.” John Gray the author of Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars states that “during their conversations especially when they meet new people ask and talk about the other person, aiming to build mutual trust.”
Members of feminine speech community are to engage in following six strategies i.e. equity, support, conversational maintenance, responsiveness, personal style and tentativeness; when the goal is connection.
Showing equity in conversation portrays showing that you are similar to other. e.g., I felt the same too while watching the movie.
Showing support involves sympathy, emotions, active listening and being responsive to others.
Conversational maintenance denotes an effort to keep the conversation going. E.g.is engaging
in small talk about the weather, colleagues, family so that the conversation continues.
Responsiveness is when we probe in deeper in order to understand the other better. E.g., what did you feel when the incident occurred?
Personal styles is denoted in the communication when a person displays small details, personal references etc. that highlights his or her ideas.
Tentativeness can be shown in various ways. For eg: when statements are turned into questions. For eg: You must be feeling great on your transfer, right? Tentativeness helps to maintain communication and connection.
5.2 Masculine communication Style
Members of this community demonstrate knowledge, are abstract, focus on instrumentality, and are assertive; when the goal is independence. Members refrain from personal disclosure means they do not disclose themselves or they keep it to the minimum level. E.g., when during lecture, the facilitator takes examples from a third person’s life while they may be his own personal experiences.Men focus more on facts and logic in their communications. It has been found that men engage in communication for demonstrating their achievements and knowledge and give and get information. They ask lesser number of questions for wanting to understand something. Men during their communications, especially when they meet new people talk about their achievements, contributions to organization and what they can accomplish. It is their way of establishing their credibility. Because women do not communicate with men in the same manner, men may not consider a woman credible if she doesn’t quickly establish what she can do as a professional.
6. Non-Verbal Communication and Gender
This section will explore six areas of non-verbal communication and the role of each gender.
6.1 Artifacts
They are objects that communicate identity. E.g., Pink blankets to wrap girls whereas blue blankets for boys. Toys can be seen as artifacts that have influence on gender construction. E.g., cars for boys and dolls for girls.
6.2 Personal Space and Proxemics
The important dimensions that are covered under this are; firstly space in our personal context. E.g., when somebody stands close to us, we may not feel comfortable as we feel the person has poached in our personal space.
Secondly, the physical space those are accessible to us. E.g., rich people have access to larger space as compared to middle or lower class.
How this affects gender? In majority of the cases, it is seen that masculine gender have access to greater spaces. It is also observable in some communities that females are restricted to kitchen whereas their male counterparts have access to the entire house as per their discretion.
6.3 Haptics
It is seen that humans use touch to communicate. Generally it is seen that women use touch to convey support and care e.g. touching someone’s shoulder. Whereas men use touch to direct the other. However, that is not the only case they also use touch to portray affection towards their partners and care for children
6.4 Kinesics
Men and women use body language to convey different meanings. E.g., women use body language to convey care and friendliness whereas men use it to show strength and control.
6.5 Paralanguage
Women use more listening noises e.g. ah, oh to convey that they are listening to the talks. Men use these noises less often. Being aware of such differences can reduce the misunderstanding and miscommunication between the sexes.
6.6 Physical Attributes
This attribute focuses on body size and shape. It is generally believed that men should be physically stronger and larger whereas women should be thin. Women prefer diets to become thin and maintain their shape whereas men use weights to give themselves a bulky look.
7. Consequences of Communicative Gender Differences
The consequences of communicative gender differences if not handled properly can be negative for the organizations. The different ways in which men and women communicate can lead to conflict and loss of productivity.
In her “Forbes” article, Heather . R. Huhman, a career expert and consultant quotes gender diversity expert Connie Glaser, who says “The problem between men and woman in the workplace is not the fact that they play by a different set of rules. The problem is that they don’t know these rules.” Huhman adds that “when this lack of understanding causes disagreement, men may be able to move on more quickly than women, for whom the conflict has more widespread and long-lasting effects.” Presently, in organizations, mixed gender communication takes place so the changes of miscommunication are higher. Gender specialist Barbara Annis says many men are of the opinion that a woman may interpret what they say in a way they didn’t expect, causing men to “feel unsure about how to approach a topic when discussing it with a woman”. When women and men engage in interpersonal communication with out understanding each other’s communicative style they may unintentionally misinterpret or even offend each other For example, as women tend to have more personalized, empathetic communications for building mutual trust, men may not take them seriously and consider them unprofessional. On the other hand because men tend to come straight to the point and talk about their achievements more women may perceive them as too aggressive.
Coates (1987) elaborates areas where such miscommunication can take place:-
7.1 Meaning of Questions
Women ask questions in order to keep up the conversation whereas men may see it as mechanism to extract information. Moreover, women may be silenced by the way men question.
7.2 Link between Speakers
Women generally start the conversation by giving acknowledgement to the previous speaker whereas men do not feel the need to do the same. Sometimes, due to this women become resentful feeling their comments have been ignored.
7.3 Shifting of Topics
Women generally stick to a topic and discuss it for a longer duration of time as compared to men who prefer to hop from one topic to another. This may cause communication problems for both the genders.
7.4 Self- Disclosure
Men prefer not to discuss their personal problems whereas as women’s conversation are therapeutic as they see it as an opportunity to lighten their heart by sharing their problems and experiences. Men generally occupy the position of expert giving advice and lecturing to the other speaker.
7.5 Verbal Aggressiveness
Women avoid arguments, speaking loudly, shouting and swearing like men. In mixed gender, communication women may find this kind of behavior unethical whereas it may be normal for men.
7.6 Interruption
Men look for opportunities to speak and it is mostly observed they tend to cross the other speaker..
However, due to this women are generally silenced in mixed gender conversations.
7.7 Listening
Women’s way value the role of listening they use tags to encourage the speakers. Whereas men see the conversations as competition waiting for their chance to speak due to which as seen women are silenced or speak less.
8. Strategies to deal with Gender Differences in Communication. 8.1 Call of action for Organizations
Organisations to facilitate effective communication between the genders should take the following steps:
i. Training programs and awareness workshops should be organized for men and women both, first separately then jointly to make them understand about their differing styles of communication, The training programs should focus on how men as well as women should appreciate that women’s viewpoints and suggestions are also important and so women should also be given adequate time to share their thoughts in meetings and group interactions. Women in the workshops should be taught how they should assertiveness in their communications.
ii. Through formal and/or informal communication information should be shared about successful women within the organization who might serve as role models for aspiring, capable employees so that women are able to recognize their potential and become more confident and forthright in their communications.
iii. Deliberate efforts should be made to include women in all kinds of communications, by asking for their opinion at meetings, arranging for their sessions at seminars, noting down and seriously considering their ideas in group interactions etc.
iv. The concerned people should ensure that all written communication reaches all women employees.
v. A watch should be kept for people who are overly critical of women in their speech and writing and appropriate action should be taken to rectify the situation. This action could take the form of counseling, training, warning or any other form of punishment in accordance with the gravity of the situation.
vi. Informal social gatherings, should be organized , to promote sharing of views, advice about issues of common interest.
vii. The senior organizational members should take special initiative to make structural changes in the office (e.g. putting women’s offices in centralized locations) and work assignments (like giving them opportunities for ‘success projects’, i.e., include them in projects that provide valuable experience and give them more visibility and confidence).
viii. Official communicationslike notices, circulars, recruitment advertisements should be reviewed to assure they are non-sexist in language.
Case Study
Communicating Through Conferences to Promote Gender Diversity at AGL
Having the right people with the right skills is vital for AGL as the energy industry faces challenging times. Competing for talent is made particularly difficult given that many of the roles that offer critical experiences and career pathways for future leaders are nontraditional occupations for women. The labour pool for women is relatively small but important in an industry that is facing a critical skills shortage. Currently, women comprise 37% of AGL’s workforce, although only 32% of AGL leaders are female and the representation reduces at senior levels. AGL has a clear strategy to increase the representation of women in leadership, with publicly promoted objectives. As part of the strategy, AGL held its inaugural senior women’s conference in 2010, which aimed to provide the opportunity to understand the importance of gender equity and diversity to AGL; meet, listen to and learn from women who have been successful; build networks; and contribute ideas and perspectives to inform AGL’s gender diversity initiatives. The 2011 conference opened the audience to senior AGL men and carried the theme “Gender equity – it’s everyone’s business”. And the 2012 conference included a spotlight on AGL’s women working in less traditional roles in its Merchant Energy and Upstream Gas businesses. Feedback shows the conferences generated a greater awareness of and engagement in AGL’s programs to remove barriers for women in the workplace and drive gender diversity. In response to feedback, AGL will continue to hold the diversity and inclusion conferences annually and has launched regular women’s networking luncheons run by AGL’s female senior leaders. AGL is also implementing new initiatives around flexible work, leadership development programs for women, and support programs for working parents in 2012 and 2013
Source: – https://www.wgea.gov.au/sites/default/files/business_case_for_gender_equality.pdf.
8.2 Call of action for men
Men, should get ready for and get used to the presence of women as their colleagues and superiors. They should acknowledge and appreciate the contributions of women in workplace. They should consciously try not to dominate in meetings and group interactions with respect to physical space used and time engaged in talking. They should be ready to hear the proposals given by women and process them seriously.
8.3 Call of action for women
Women, should work at building networks through interpersonal communication involving both men and women for giving and receiving information. They should consider themselves equal to men with respect to use of organizational resources and benefits. Women should not be shy of, rather develop the skills of putting forth their contributions and achievementsin theorganization whereeversuitable. They should demand and use more physical space and time for interaction in meetings and generally in organizations.They should learn to be assertive in communicating their suggestions, and firm in communicating their decisions.
It is important that both men and women develop awareness about each other’s styles of verbal and non-verbal communication in order to avoid miscommunication and work together effectively.Psychologists have observed that men and women who are neutral in their communication style rather than being stereotypically masculine or feminine have better interpersonal interactions.This highlights that one is capable of speaking language of multiple gender communities.
- Summary
There are differences in communication styles of men and women. These gender differences are largely created due to different socialization of girls and boys from childhood including how they should and should not express themselves. If men and women do not understand these differences there might be misunderstanding amongst them. So steps should be taken to understand these differences and deal with them in a constructive manner at organizational level as well as individual level to ensure effective mixed gender communications at work place.
References and Extra Reading:-
1. Gender and Communication. Available Online at
< http://www.focusintl.com/GD137-%20Gender_and_communication_guide.pdf>.
2. Institute of Development Studies. (2008). Politicising Masculinities: Beyond the personal. UK: IDS.
3. Netshitangani, Tshilidzi., Gender differences in communication styles: The impact on the managerial work of a woman school principal. Available Online at <http://www.shore.ac.nz/massey/fms/Colleges/College%20of%20Business/Communication%20and% 20Journalism/ANZCA%202008/Refereed%20Papers/Netshitangani_ANZCA08.pdf>
4. Survey of Communication Study. Available Online at < http://www.saylor.org/site/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/COMM001_Wikibooks_-Survey-of-Communication-Study_Chapter-13_5.11.2012.pdf>.
5. Wood, Julia T., 2007. Gendered Lives. Available Online at < http://facweb.northseattle.edu/avoorhies/Gender/Readings/Relationships/Study%20of%20communic ation,%20gender%20and%20culture.pdf>.
6. Flood, Michael & Homes, Scott., Gender at Work: Exploring the Role of Workplace Equality in
Preventing Men’s Violence Against Women. Available Online at < http://www.whiteribbon.org.au/uploads/media/Research_series/WRIB-470_Genders_At_Work_Paper_v03.pdf>.
7. Allen and Unwin. Woodall, Marian K. (1990), How to Talk so Men will Listen. Lake Oswego
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Grant, C. Hardy, C. Oswick and L. L. Putnam (eds), Handbook of Organizational Discourse. London: Sage. pp. 275–98.
9. Brody, L. and Hall, J. (2000), ‘Gender, emotion, and expression’, in M. Lewis and J. Haviland-Jones (eds), Handbook of Emotions, 2nd edn. New York: The Guilford Press. pp. 338–49.
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11. Cassell, C. (1997), ‘The business case for equal opportunities: Implications for women in
management’, Women in Management Review, 12(1): 11–16.
12. Davidson, M. J. and Burke, R. (eds) (2000), Women in Management: Current Research Issues, Vol.2. London: Sage.
13. Davidson M. J. and Burke R. (eds) (2004), Women in Management Worldwide – Facts, Figures and Analysis. London: Ashgate.
14. Davidson, M. J. and Fielden, S. L. (eds) (2003), Individual Diversity and Psychology in Organizations. Chichester: Wiley.
15. Gray, J. (1992), Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars. London: Thorsons.
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17. Holmes, J., Burns, L., Marra, M., Stubbe, M. and Vine, B. (2003), ‘Women managing discourse in the workplace’, Women in Management Review, 18(8): 414–24.
18. Jablin, F. M. and Putnam, L. L. (eds) (2001), The New Handbook Of Organizational Communication: Advances in Theory, Research, and Methods. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
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20. Powell, G. (ed.) (1999), Handbook of Gender and Work. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
21. Rosener, J. B. (1990), ‘Ways women lead’, Harvard Business Review, 68 (November– December): 119–25.
22. Smith, M. (2003), ‘Bias in job selection and assessment techniques’, in M. J. Davidson and S. L.
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23. Tannen, D. (1990), You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. New York:
24. William Morrow. Tannen, D. (1994), Talking from 9 to 5. New York
25. William Morrow. Wajcman, J. (1999), Managing Like a Man: Women and Men in Corporate Management. St Leonards