5 Interpersonal Communication

Mrs. Shilpa Hattiangadi

Content Outline

• Introduction.
• Objectives of the module
• Interpersonal Communication
• Developing Interpersonal skills
• Nature and purpose of Interpersonal communication
• Types of Interpersonal Communication
• Social Meda and Interpersonal Communication
• Improving one’s interpersonal communication skills
• Summary

Introduction ‘Hello…good morning!’, ‘Its’s been a long time, let’s meet this weekend over a cup of coffee!’, ‘How have you been?’, ‘The weather’s so fine today!’ We face these situations and more almost on a day-to-day basis. Some of us are great at making and building conversations, some of us feel hesitant or shy to approach and talk to strangers or even chat freely with colleagues. At times, we feel genuinely interested in people or at times one just doesn’t want to talk or interact. Humans are very complex beings and so is human communication. Interpersonal communication is interspersed finely in the fabric of our lives and we being social animals, cannot hold back from communicating. Interpersonal communication is the exchange of thoughts, information, ideas or facts between two or more people.

Objectives of the module

At the end of the module learners will be able to:

• Learn the definitions and types of interpersonal communication.
• Understand the process of interpersonal communication
• Understand the importance of interpersonal communication in all areas of our lives
• The different components of interpersonal communication
• Explore the different technologies used in interpersonal communication

Interpersonal Communication

Interpersonal communication is communication between people. It may involve 2 or more people speaking face to face, or communicating through written medium-letter or email or chat, or non-verbal communication through facial expressions of body language. Humans, over centuries, have mastered communication skills and turned meaningless grunts into spoken and written words, through which they were able to express their needs, wants, wishes, emotions, desires, ideas and feelings. When we are speaking to someone, our tone of voice conveys a lot of meaning. You may need to make a presentation at college, or at work, in a formal setting where one may take the help of slide show to convey information. Our voice and tone change while chatting with friends, family, in an informal setting and when one is having fun. To understand the directions to a place or to understand the working of a new gadget, one could give or receive instruction, or to extend invitations to dignitaries for an event are day-to-day situations when one is using interpersonal communication. Sending text messages through SMS, messenger, WhatsApp or other similar messaging / chatting services is also a way of communicating.

It is a complex process that can be described in simplified terms by a sender and a receiver who exchange messages containing ideas and feelings, mixed together. It occurs in various contexts and is addressed in subfields of study within communication studies such as intercultural communication, organizational communication, health communication, and computer-mediated communication. After all, interpersonal relationships exist in all those contexts.

Nowadays, you will find WhatsApp groups on which friends, families or professionals are connected for the purpose of communication. The members of these groups could be scattered all over the globe. Sharing happiness and updating each other through pictures and videos is so common. It is really very interesting especially when you have your close family members at widespread locations. Interpersonal communication is woven so intricately that it is literally inseparable from our lives.

Let us now look at some definitions of interpersonal communication.

Interpersonal Communication can be defined as the process by which people exchange information, feelings and meaning through verbal and non-verbal messages.

It is a complex process which is unique from other forms of communication like interpersonal, group, organizational, mass or public communication.

Interpersonal Skills

Interpersonal skills can be broadly defined as those skills one needs to communicate effectively with another person or group of people (Rungapadiachy, 1999, p.1993). Several authors like Chant, Jenkinson, Russel, Randle and few more have identified the exact skills that are essential for interpersonal interactions are-

• Self-awareness- one is aware of one’s feelings in control of the language used.
• Effective listening
• Questioning
• Oral communication
• Helping or facilitating- being effective to extend support to others.
• Reflecting upon one’s own words,
• Assertiveness is an important skill – being honest in expressing one’s thoughts or feelings and showing respect for other people’s feeling, wants or needs.
• Non-verbal communication through knowledge and awareness of interpersonal communication empowers individuals.

It affects their personal success, happiness, close friendships, romantic relationships or rapport with siblings are maintained or destroyed though interpersonal interactions. Effective communication can be a cause for success or failure in marriage. It also determines professional success to a great extent, from presenting oneself at interviews, to leading at meeting, making presentations and so on. The ability to communicate well interpersonally is widely recognized as being crucial to professional success (Morreale & Pearson, 2008). Hence, strong interpersonal communication helps an individual to develop a good rapport with colleagues, friends, family and perform better on many parameters at work.

Nature of interpersonal communication is summarized in the points given below-

Interpersonal communication takes place continuously and makes the communicator aware & conscious of the process of communication thus one is sending verbal or nonverbal message.

It’s nature is transactional, which means that the sender and the receiver gain something through each episode of communication. Both stand to learn, gain or lose out from each other’s experience, it may leave the communicators richer by sharing knowledge, like learning a recipe of a new dish, learning a song, learning a new language etc. Interpersonal communication is situated in a particular setting which affects how the messages are produced, interpreted and coordinated. The culture of a place, one’s attitude and behavior, social, economic status of people interacting with each other, and the level at which the communication takes place affects this transaction. It is indexical depending on the trust, intimacy or control we have with the receiver, degree of communication will vary. One may have a high degree of faith on certain people, for example, kings had secret informers who would be disguised and would be seeking information for the welfare of the kingdom. One may be very comfortable sharing a personal incident with a friend with high degree of trust and intimacy but with another individual, whereas uncomfortable with a stranger. This affects the degree of communication between the communicators. A rapport between a counsellor and the counselee would have a high degree of communication as it is required to resolve the issue for which the counselee seeks consultation.

The purposes of interpersonal communication include:

Meaning is the significance that the sender or speaker and receiver or listener attach to a message and shared meaning occurs when the receiver’s interpretation of the message is similar to what the speaker felt, intended, thought.

The communication setting is the background conditions surrounding an interaction Noise is any stimulus that interferes with shared meaning: There are 3 types of noise:

• External noises- are the sounds, sights which draw attention or distracts the receiver from the meaning which is intended-horns / sound of vehicles/ drums.
• Internal noises are the thoughts and feelings that interfere with the communication process either one is worrying about a situation or lost in thoughts and inattentive to the speaker.
• Semantic noise here means distractions caused due to the message being in comprehendible either accent or dialect or content not understood by the receiver.

Social Media and Interpersonal Communication

At this point, I would like to draw your attention to a very important aspect of social media and interpersonal communication. We are using social media technologies extensively to facilitate interaction and communication. Computer-mediated communicationis a general term that includes all forms of communication between people that take place through some kind of computer, whether it’s on smartphone or through an Internet connection. Examples include e-mail, blogging, instant messaging, or posting or chatting on social network sites such as Facebook, Google+or Twitter.

It keeps individuals connected in a social network- Facebooking, Tweeting, texting. There are several traits of social media technology

a) Interactivity refers to the ability of a communication tool to facilitate social interaction between groups or people.

b) Temporal structure refers to the time it takes to send and receive messages or the time that elapses during a communication interaction.

c) Social cues are verbal and nonverbal aspects of a message that provide richness to the context, meaning of the message.

d) Social media tools allow messages to be stored and spread across various platforms

e) Reach of social media messages connects people in distant place.

f) They offer wide mobility due to the portability of gadgets, internet and ability to access from anywhere.

Types of Interpersonal Communication

Types of Interpersonal Communication vary depending on the number of participants in the process Direct interpersonal communication involves a direct face-to-face relationship between the sender and receiver of a message, who are in an interdependent relationship. Because of interpersonal communication’s immediacy (it is taking place now) and primacy (it is taking place here), it is characterized by a strong feedback component. Communication is enhanced when the relationship exists over a long period of time. Interpersonal communication involves not only the words used but also the various elements of nonverbal communication. The purposes of interpersonal communication are to influence, help and discover, as well as to share and play together. Interpersonal communication can be categorized by the number of participants.

• Dyadic communication involves two people. Example: Two friends talking, husband and wife chatting, child negotiating with parent for a toy.
• Group communication involves three or more persons, though communication scholars are inconsistent as to the top end of the number scale. The smaller the number in the group, the more closely this mode resembles interpersonal communication. Often group communication is done for the purpose of problem solving or decision making. Example: friends involved in a group study, a music class with teacher and few students, a meeting between managing committee members of a cooperative housing society.
• Public communication involves a large group with a primarily one-way monologue style generating only minimal feedback. Information sharing, entertainment and persuasion are common purposes of public communication. Example: Lecture in college, speech at a farewell function of an employee, Managing Director addressing employees. Another way of categorizing interpersonal communication is on the function or setting of the communication.
• Organizational communication deals with communication within large organizations such as businesses. This is sometimes considered part of group communication, but communication scholars have built up a body of knowledge focused primarily on organizations. Example: Work-focused discussion between two colleagues; or boss and subordinate
• Family communication focuses on communication patterns within nuclear, extended and blended families. Like organizational communication, this too is sometimes seen as part of the general category of group communication, but much research has been focused specifically on communication within a family relationship. Family communication can be enhanced by the long-standing and close relationships among participants as well as the likelihood that families have shared heritage, similar values, and social rituals. Patterns differ in communication between spouses, between parent and child, among siblings, and within the wider family context. Example: Conversation during a get together

Ethics and interpersonal communication

Interpersonal communication and ethics are linked to each other. Ethics is a set of moral principles held by a society, group or individuals. Ethical principles guide interpersonal communication. Truthfulness, honesty are ethical principles that compel people not to lie or mislead. Integrity is an ethical standard that compels one to maintain consistency in belief and action. It is important to be fair in action with regard to one’s feelings and the other side of conflict. It is ethical to show regard or respect for a person, his / her point of view and rights. When a communicator regards ethical standards, one is accountable for their own actions.

To be empathetic, understanding feelings of others from their point of view is also a trait shown by ethical communicators.

Improving one’s interpersonal communication skills

There is always a scope for people to improve their interpersonal skills. Here are a few suggestions for bettering interpersonal competence-

• People need to practice communication skills that are appropriate for the situation and effective enough to meet the goals of interaction.
• A typical communication consists of more than 50% nonverbal communication which includes body language. So be aware and convey positive body language.
• Being good listener and giving attention, time and thoughts aids interpersonal communication.
• Consistent eye contact during the conversation shows interest and availability the listener.
• Here is a link for a video on how to be a better communicator-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5hMN_XkPQA

Summary

Interpersonal communication is the process of exchanging messages between people whose lives mutually influence one another in unique ways in relation to social and cultural norms. It has many implications for us in the real world. Besides making relationships and health better, interpersonal communication skills are highly sought after by potential employers. Interpersonal communication meets our basic needs as humans for security in our social bonds, health, and careers. But we are not born with all the interpersonal communication skills we’ll need in life. We can practice them to be better communicators.

References

1. Hartley, P.(1993).Interpersonal Communication. New York: Routledge.
2. McQuail, D.(2010). Mass Communication Theory. London: SAGE.
3. https://2012books.lardbucket.org/books/a-primer-on-communication-studies/ [details not available]
4. Web references
5. www.archivelearninghigher.ac.uk
6. www.cengage.com
7. www.global.oup.com
8. www.pearsoncanada.ca